you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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