Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
