that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
