some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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