You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He told me they were just razor bumps!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
