Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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