ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
