What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
