brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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