I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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