Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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