I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
