ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
