I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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