Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
