I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
