Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
