He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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