I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
