PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
