I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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