apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
