I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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