I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My vagina is officially offended.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize