I don't remember. Are we still dating?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
