I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
