yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
