Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
