New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
