We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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