Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
