think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
