is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
