He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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