i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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