So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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