you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
