help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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