problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
