so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
