how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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