My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
