You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
