Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
