id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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