id be glad to
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
