He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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