R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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