what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
