If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
