I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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